It is an ultimate truth that everyone needs to pass from the process of the change, and sometimes it is very difficult to pass from this process, and this is the part where people fail to deliver their true potential. Many got stuck in this process and can’t accept the change and ultimately resist the change and blames the whole world for their failure and blames everything on the ‘God’. Now the main fight towards the resistance to change and accepting the change, starts! people who look forward to making their life better tends to fight against the resistance and accepts the change, they ultimately win in their life’s game and win every situation to becomes the ultimate winner.
An opportunist will utilise every possible event in their life to make it a success, they are not just lucky to be winner or have the successful life but, they tend to fight against all the odds in their life to make it better and better, their acceptance towards the adaption of change makes them the winner.
One of the way to get success in the adaption of the change is through the self-talk, means talking with the self. Many of you have tendency to talk themselves and even during the school and the college our teachers and professors tell us to look in the mirror and talk to our-self, what self-talk provide us is the confidence and boost our motivation for living the life at the fullest.
What exactly is the self-talk? Self-talk is your inner voice, when your mind creates thoughts, you share with yourself that is self-talk or you share it by speaking to yourself is self-talk, it is a connection of yours with yourself. You have seen many sports persons do the self-talk, as strategy for motivation, to enhance performance, cope with anxiety, strengthen confidence, focus attention and for stress management.
The question arises in mind is that, why self-talk is necessary? What is the purpose of self-talk? But what everyone think is, I know what I want! I know what to do! so, this is waste of time and worthless. But the reality towards the self-talk is far beyond than this.
Self-talk is a pillar in our self. Self-talk is a building, you can build yourself, you can design your life by your own with the pillar of self-talk, you can be architect of your own life, you can decorate your life as your wish by becoming interior designer of your own life, you can shape your personality exactly as you want, even you can solve your problems by self-talk. You can monitor your actions or deeds in the life as sometimes people reacts on action and are not aware by their actions, they deliver that action not consciously so, they mostly face adverse impact of those actions later.
Thus, we can talk about three aspects namely,
- Self-talk for building personality.
- Self-talk for Problem solving.
- Self-talk for exploring our life’s graph.
Let’s see how the self-talk works.
- Self-talk for building personality
Self-talk helps to boosts our confidence or self-esteem. Self-esteem means confidence in our own abilities, it is a driven force in us. In our life span, whatever we do, the impact of self-esteem decides our success or failure firstly. later it depends on our efforts and hard work.
Generally, we have some set mindsets about ourselves in the mind given by parents, friends, relatives in our childhood, by the time, as we grow, we carry that similar mindset to do every task, It can either optimistic approach or pessimistic. If we are adapting the optimistic approach, that is beautiful, but if it is pessimistic we must now change to the optimistic through self-talk. Our reactions are based on our self-esteem towards any circumstances so, try to maintain high self-esteem in any arduous situations, our situations become more miserable by our pessimistic reaction or approach so, be aware if you are prisoner of low self-esteem.
People around you will normally gift you the negative statements about you, then use this present and convert them into positive thoughts in your mind by doing self-talk. Talk yourself that,” though people talk about me in negative manner, I totally deny that. I know myself better than anyone else. I am the best, I know my potential very well than others”. Otherwise you’ll be victim of very low self-esteem and it may cause anger, guilt, fear, lack of confidence, frustration etc. whoever critic you your qualities, take it as learning approach. try to improve yourself with the belief take it as challenge, make your own self-talk script, the way you want to build your personality or whatever ambition you want to achieve.
For instance, you want to become the painter, then talk to yourself like
“I want to become painter.
I have all qualities which a Painter needs.
I can paint very beautifully.
I will become good painter one day!
I am very determined towards my goal and enthusiastic for it.”
You can perform your script in front of the mirror or record your voice and listen it before sleeping, this is very effective and will help you to gain confidence and motivate you to achieve your dream goal.
Self-talk script works subconsciously in our personality. When you consciously tell something to your mind, your subconscious mind easily grasps it and make it reality.
- Self-talk for problem solving
You are at self-conscious mode and self-esteem is high than it becomes your power and you can solve any problem, whenever you face problem, you will start thinking how to get out of it, you can effectively work on it by self-talk, think of the different strategies to get rid of problem and try to implement it, for this what you need most, is self-confidence.
You talk to yourself about strategies which you want to create, try to check all aspects about the strategy and with confidence apply the strategy to problems. By self-talk, you can get more clarity about problem-solving, this gives you encouragement and prevents you to fall, it will spread the positive vibes, against the anxiety and negative thinking which effects self. You can use the mirror while talking with self. It is more effective.
See problem as a broader context, we are just stuck into the problem and think it from the narrow perceptive and due to this we start thinking more of the problems and makes the unreal assumption caused by the problem and thus any problem we face becomes very bigger, but in reality, it is not, with the broader perspective towards the problem, we can look at the problem more deeply and when you understand the problem it is half solved. As our world won’t be ruined just because of the one problem, but we are tended to make it worse due to the imaginary assumptions. As the time passes, problems are not permanent in-fact it is just temporary, but due to our imaginary assumptions we make it a bigger problem.
A little effort can change the way you think about the problem.
Firstly, try to improve your perception about problems relax your mind by writing down the problem, then do the tasks you like most means work on your hobbies it will help to boost your mind and will help to concentrate more on the problem solving rather than just thinking about the problem, this will work as the stress buster and will relax your mind and will help in the problem-solving.
You can either ask some question to the self or the best way is to write down the whole problem and the scenario related to it.
Question that you can ask yourself or write it down can be, “What is actual problem? Why did this problem occurred? Can I solve this problem by myself? How can this problem will affect my life?”
Answering the above-mentioned question can help you to understand the problem and when it is understood properly you are near to your answer.
- Self-talk for exploring our life’s graph
Today’s era is techno-savvy and as technology needs improvement through the updating the software, cleaning the virus, hardware checks it is indeed same for all of us, we need to develop our-self by updating our knowledge, removing the wrong perception, and giving the body needed exercise and through all this we can be the virus free system.
Time is never same, it always changes, even nature has variation so how can be our situations remains the same? Thus, develop habit to monitor your life’s graph.
Our behavior matters a lot in our life, in every action of us, behavior is a keystone, so have you ever think about it? Sometimes you behave in such a way that you should not, other people get hurt by that behavior, that’s why develop habit of monitoring your life’s history or graph and you will get clarity about incongruencies in your life.
Life is super busy but you should invest your precious time for this and you will get the return of clarity in yourself, where you are lacking? what does improvement need? This is very nice key for the healthy relations.